My life partner is the creative, visionary, (kind of has a chip on his shoulder) type. Which means I have the privilege/responsibility of being versed in two big “f” words:
His creations, ideas, and dreams have required a lot, but have also given a lot. Regardless, I love seeing him constantly having the audacity to pursue opportunities and dreams that leave my jaw on the floor.
Believe it or not, committing my life to this man has been fucking exhausting. Here’s some things I have learned:
Dig deep into yourself and be convinced (regardless of fear and rationalization) that their dream is what they are supposed to pursue
BELIEVE THIS ABOUT YOURSELF ALSO
Pursuing your/their dreams is an “us” choice- meaning you/they don’t get to make decisions without acknowledgement that their path is our path and anything one partner decides affects the other. Endeavoring together means a lot of adult conversations, patience as one partner tries to wrap their mind around the topic being presented, compromising, and pursuing your life partner’s blessing throughout the journeys many road blocks and open doors - ew being adult is ridiculous
Create spaces where you get to check in with each other A LOT - what’s working? What’s not working? Etc.
There has to be some logic to pursuing a dream — ex: if a dream is not producing income, then maintaining a job while pursuing the dream is necessary
There must be boundaries - coat them on thick.
Don’t be annoyed if you are the only one creating the boundaries - it just is one of those things that comes more naturally to some
Push and pull - I’m always pulling Bobby back into healthy habits (he is the workaholic) and he is always pushing me into pursuing my dreams (I am scared and lazy). Being the receiver of a push or a pull is not comfortable ever- but your life partner wants the absolute healthiest best for you (if you cannot say this confidently, consider who you have chosen as a life partner).
The creator does not get to become the creation - it can be their passion, their hobby, their purpose, their life’s work, their joy - but it does not get to become them.
Learn how to fan into flame who they are with activities and deep conversations that don’t center around their dreams/what they are pursuing to remind them they are so much more than their creation
You don’t have to be involved in the dream, you don’t have to find your life purpose in the dream, you don’t have to be convinced that the dream will succeed, you don’t have to be a cheerleader of the dream, and you don’t have to bce devoted to the dream. I’m a girl so everyone assumes all of these things are my role. I am committed, devoted, and a cheerleader of the dreamer - not the dream. And that is an okay place for me to be just as much as if i was intensely involved.
You are not allowed to sacrifice your dreams for their dreams to survive!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t freak out if your dreams aren’t popping and coming into fruition while theirs are - be faithful to the time you’re given and prepared for what your future holds
You are not allowed to sacrifice your relationship for their dreams or yours
If their dreams are leading them down a path that you are not sure you want to be on - make sure that what the both of you ultimately want in life (where the path will end up) is still the same